Tips—the advice kind—and tips—the monetary kind—are both at the heart of Heads In Beds: A Reckless Memoir of Hotels, Hustles, and So-Called Hospitality by Jacob Tomsky. A veteran desk clerk, housekeeping manager, and parking attendant (among other roles) at hotels in New Orleans and New York, Tomsky has written a scrappy account of his experiences in the lodging trade that is far wiser and sweeter than its attention-getting title and publisher’s hype suggest. Not so much the “Kitchen Confidential of the hotel business” its been ballyhooed as, Heads in Beds is more like a primer on the development of mutual empathy between hotel guests and the employees who serve them. Tomsky airs out the dirty laundry of ho-biz, including the literal dirty laundry: He recounts being buried in a laundry chute avalanche of soiled sheets, moldering bath towels and filthy napkins and a smattering of used condoms). But the dirt flows in two directions: Sure,Tomsky rats out the parking attendants with their unfailing passions for speed and risk, and the maids who frequently shine up rooms’ drinking glasses with furniture polish, but he also shines a spotlight on the demanding customers who make life miserable for front desk staff and the cheapskates who fail to realize that tips form the bulk of a bellman’s annual income. He summons unsavory souvenirs of the Dominique Strauss-Kahn imbroglio with his sympathetic account of housekeepers who after knocking several times enter a room “to face an older gentleman who didn’t feel the need to either shout out a warning OR secure the robe properly. There are now three entities in the room: the housekeeper, the man, and the man’s penis. Two of these entities are rather pleased with the current situation.” Amidst his accounts of “pseudonyms…runaways…alcoholics, gamblers, and whores. And families on vacation!” Tomsky offers good counsel on how to get the maximum impact out of a gratuity, what rooms to avoid, and why to avoid online booking agencies like Orbitz and Expedia. He also paints a warm portrait of the friendships and feuds that form among hospitality workers. A tip of the hat, then, to Tomsky: his easy-reading book makes an ideal traveling companion.
